Thursday, March 6, 2014

Narcissist or Space Case: Parking Lot Edition

When I started this blog I told myself to make it what I want it to be. There will be dad stuff, life hacks, family stories, fun tips and things my wife told me to write. (My wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever met.) But I also just wanted to write about things that come up in daily life.

And what is more 'daily life' than going in and out of parking lots. I spend a lot of time in parking lots. I run most of the errands for the family and am constantly going in and out of them. And human nature is to start dissecting & analyzing things that you are around daily.

So I started to break it down and I have never hated these people or behaviors. They don't drive me crazy, make me want to scream or punch a puppy. Rather, these parking lot behaviors make me scratch and shake my head at the same time. The best way to get an itch, if you ask me. In short, they confound me.

Overall, these are things that I just don't get. I can't figure out if these people are:
Fact: COPS is the only tv show on the planet Melmac,
where Alf is from. Look it up. You can't not prove me wrong.

1) raging, selfish narcissists or
2) clueless space cases or
3) aliens who have tried to learn human behavior by watching COPS

I know which one I'm rooting for.


Again, I do NOT hate these behaviors or people. Hate is pretty strong. But more things that utterly confuse and confound me. You decide: narcissist or space case.


This person.
Of course this person.
And this person. And this is getting way worse in recent years.
People who cut across parking lots with lots of other vehicles around.
Possibly cutting other people off or just taking a short cut.
Lunch litter left behind.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. Just ew.
Not this guy though. Truck nuts are like leather bound books. A sign of class. 
The bumper sticker that teaches my kids about the birds & the bees. Thoughtful.
The aggressive bumper sticker that lets us all know that if you're not
paying attention at a green light, and we honk to remind you,
we are gonna get at least 2 clips full of bullets coming our way.
Head down texter, who never looks up while crossing in front
of your 4,500 lb vehicle/killing machine. That's right, I call our
family minivan a 'killing machine'.
Families or groups of people that walk slowly through the
parking lot, should know it feels like this.
The Beatles not looking up or even acknowledging you are waiting for them
to cross the street/parking lot. And it's not just the Beatles either. 
People who can't even park their cars the right way.
People who don't put a leash on their dragons.

This guy. Everywhere I go, it's this guy. Ugh.
Of course, zombies. Parking lot zombies.
Kittens and puppies snuggling. I mean c'mon! It sickens me.
Alright, perhaps a few of the later pictures, don't frustrate or confuse me. I mean, I think zombies are pretty straight forward and everyone gets them. They just do what the undead do. And the Wiener Mobile is understandable.

But the other people and behaviors confound me. And each time you see them or a particular scenario, you have to make the choice: narcissist or clueless.

jj


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