Now, if you have already read one of my previous posts entitled, 7 of the Million Things I Have Learned Being a Stay-At-Home Dad: Part 1, then you had to see this one coming. I mean, it was Part 1, so just like at the end of The Dark Knight, when Batman takes the blame so Harvey Dent can die Gotham's hero. Then Batman goes on the run, decides to be the hero that Gotham deserves and truly becomes the Dark Knight, you knew there had to be a sequel...(gasp for nerd breath)...there just had to be a sequel here. (Raspy Batman voice) Because I need to become the hero that stay at home dads deserve.
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| My 5 y.o.'s version of me as Batman. |
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| My 9 y.o's version of me as Batman |
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| My version of me as Batman. |
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| My 6 y.o.'s version of me as Batman. Can you tell he's our only boy & a middle child? |
Now, as for the things I have learned being a stay at home dad, we are skipping on #1 hits. No, I Will Always Love You here. That is to say, there are obvious, big, important things I have learned; I love my kids greatly, I want to see them succeed, there are not enough hours in the day, Doc McStuffins friends are Lambie, Stuffy, Chilly, Hallie & Squeakers. You know, the BIG things.
This is a collection of the parenting B-sides that I have collected over the years. Sidenote: You know I would flip a single over to the instrumental side and kill it every time. Madonna's Vogue...Don't just stand there, let's get to it. Strike a pose there's nothing to it.
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| Picture this Casanova karaoking solo to Madonna. Now, slow down ladies. I'm married. |
But I digress. So, without further...oh screw it.
Beauty's where you find it,
Not just where you bump and grind it.
Soul is in the music,
That's where I feel so beautiful,
Magical,
Life's a ball.
So get up on the dance floor!
C'mon vogue....
Now to the real-B sides that I have learned...
1) Kids will like what ever silly song you sing.
I am a child of the early 90's. Love that era's hip-hop and rap. Thus, I refer to my kids as Regulators and when it's time to leave Target, I exclaim, "REGULATORSSSSSSS!" And my kids reply with, "Mount up!"
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| Working on addition with my Preschooler. |
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| At the zoo, it works with lots of animals. But I like big bass and I cannot lie, when fishing is one of my faves. |
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| This hangs at my local grocery store. No lie. (OK, possibly a lie) |
At a young age, at least until age 10, this is especially true. There are so many practical and everyday things to point out and discuss at the grocery store. You can teach about: healthy foods vs. non healthy foods, how we get our milk, estimating prices, budgeting, comparing price per ounce, coupons, organization, how everyday products are made and where they come from.
Now, I'm not saying don't take your kids to museums. I'm just saying that there is a lot of value in talking with your kids as you grocery shop. Plus, there is a very slim chance of getting attacked by a velociraptor, I've seen Jurassic Park. Or an Egyptian pharaoh trying to kill you, I have also seen Night at the Museum. No, thank you.
3) There is bad parenting everywhere. (Including in my house.)
Now there are the parents who yell, lose their temper, get drunk and hit their kids (Louis C.K. has a great, funny & short bit on hitting kids. Warning: explicit language) but that's not what I'm talking about. That's a given.
One for instance that gets to me is...if you know your child is prone to be sneaky or mischievous or a liar or disrespectful or rude or mean or physical or a bully around other children. You have 3 options:
1) Teach them better.
2) Watch them carefully to make sure they are not doing any of those things to other children. Hold them accountable.
3) Or both.
Fact is, if you display bad parenting traits you probably don't realize it.
I am very aware when it comes to parenting. I watch parents to pick up on verbiage, posture, tone, presence and involvement. I've learned everything I want to be from other parents and everything I don't want to be from other parents. And I still get it wrong between 25-75% of the time.
I will say this about bad parents(I include myself in this group on occasion) you make me appreciate great parenting all the more. Thank you GREAT parents out there!
4) Kids are unabashed in many ways. Most of them wonderful.
They say what is on their mind. And they don't worry about how it sounds.
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| Mmmmmmm, smells like foot. |
It was a cool summer afternoon. The constellation Orion had just peeked, the geraniums were in bloom...fastforwarding...
Elsa had a paper cut from a few days previous and she just got to slowly taking off the 2 day old band-aide that was wrapped around her index finger. She looked inquisitively at the wrinkled, whitened finger tip. My lip was curled in slight disgust, like someone had just broke wind. Elsa then slowly and closely examines the unwrapped mummified finger for about 20 seconds. Then she takes a whiff of it, gets the same 'broke wind' face I have and casually says, "Ewww. Smells like a foot. Wanna smell?" "Um, good sell job, but...no." I reply. And then she went back to smelling it.
Weird. Just wonderfully weird and unabashed.
5) I will always be Dad.
Seems obvious, but what I mean is, that title never gets taken way. Once you have children, the title of "Dad" or "Mom" never leaves you.
But what I realized is, I need to decide what adjectives will lead up to the word Dad.
Is it going to be:
cool, fun, loving, protective, demanding, fair, trusting, selfless, playful, thoughtful, helpful, patient, responsible, organized, creative, interesting, challenging Dad.
Or is it going to be:
distant, non-engaged, uncaring, rude, crude, disrespectful, selfish, berating, always drunk, mentally abusive, overbearing, divisive, asshole Dad.
Or somewhere in between. But Dad will always be there. I just need to decide what words I want leading up to "Dad".
So to review:
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| You don't want to be this dad. |
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| You want to be more like this dad. |
But realistically, the dad sweet spot is somewhere between...
and
6) You have to stop, take a breath and reflect regularly.
I think my generations greatest artist said it best:
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| Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. |
7) I realized I will never, ever stop worrying.
Now let me clarify, I do NOT worry every moment of every day. For it was another one of our generation's other great artists who said:
"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." -Van Wilder
What I do mean is, at every age, there are new things to worry about. Whether it's the birth, SIDs, walking, talking, choking, strangers, falling off their bike, doing well on a math test, circle of friends, driving, college, job interviews, traveling, marriage, their own kids.
And those are just the surface things. I want to always be there for my kids. I want to be the one they always look up to. I worry that one day I might not be their world, I know it's inevitable. But I worry, that one day my kids might not want me in their world. You never know what tomorrow brings.
I don't lose sleep over my worries, but whether its at the forefront of my thoughts or backburnered. It's always there.
Well, we did it! Hi five everyone! Great hustle from everybody, except for one person. I think you know who you are. You better read this one again and take some laps. And don't let us down again.
To be continued...we'll see. If it makes $1 billion dollars like The Dark Knight, then I suppose there will be a Part 3.
jj
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